Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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