I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
