Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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