I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
