You kept calling me your small dog last night.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
