So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
