I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
