So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
And then he peed in my hair
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