If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
No subtext here. People are naked.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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