fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Randomize
