they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
