Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
