She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
