dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
