ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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