I feel great
I just peed on a car
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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