Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
