Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Life is so much better after having sex.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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