that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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