For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
