ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
