so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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