Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
