ya dads aren't the best wingmen
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
