we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
