Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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