I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
