Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
