I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
