It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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