I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
