So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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