I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Randomize
