so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
