she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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