It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
