is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
