I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
