Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
