just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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