I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
