I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
