What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
