The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize