After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
