I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
