Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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