she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
