wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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