One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize