Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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