STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
