at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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