: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
