New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
