i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
