I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
