if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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