Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
