'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
