We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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